Moving On

Well, I suppose dumb as bricks man has earned himself a nickname due to recent events (more on that later) so from here on in I’ll be referring to him as Jumbo, because he is huge. Not fat huge, ripped and jacked huge. Plus he is very tall, almost 6 foot 7.

I have been talking to him consisently the last couple of days and though he isn’t Einstein he is smarter than I orginially thought.

He also has a nice personality and he is fun to talk to.

Today he asked me if I wanted to go out sometime and I said okay, but that I had a few rules (I like to call the shots). I told him that he would have to wait a while, because I am busy the next couple of weeks (Stud will be here!!!! ) , if we go out it will be as part of a group, and that if he was wanting sex or a girlfriend he may as well not even bother because he wasn’t going to get either one from me.

I do have another story now, it is the main reason I am posting, and it is what the title of the post is based upon.

Let’s use our imaginations. It’s hot and sticky out and it’s the perfect time of year for falling in love and blah blah blah. I am single, young, and have only been in love once before, with somebody who didn’t really deserve it. I have a male friend who I have known for about a year now, let’s call him Kevin (because that’s his name). Kevin hears me complaining to my friend Emily that I wish I knew how to skateboard and he offers to teach me. I had always had a small crush on him, and I really wanted to learn (really!) so I accepted. Kevin spent most of his waking hours during that summer at the skate park with me trying to achieve the impossible. Come September I was one giant walking scab. I never learned to skateboard but I totally fell for my teacher, and he fell for me. I didn’t fall in love with him, but I am certain I would have had things gone better with us.

Kevin had some problems with drugs that were a dealbreaker for me. I wanted to be with him very badly but didn’t want to go through what I had endured with my first love all over again so I resisted.  We both knew we liked each other but weren’t sure if the other one felt the same way so neither one of us said anything to the other and we kept hanging out. Summer turned to fall and we were still hanging out almost every day. Then one night in November we were out and talking about some stuff he had going on at home and I started to slip down the bank we were standing on and towards the crud below. Kevin literally reached down and caught me midair by the armpits, lifted me up, planted me in front of him, looked me in the eyes and kissed me. I shouldn’t have kissed him back, but I cracked.

Things were never the same between us after that. The next day after school he called me and asked if I wanted to go out for a coffee and I said yes. I was hoping things would be normal but they weren’t. He asked me to be his girlfriend and told me that it was that, or nothing. He couldn’t be just my friend. I told him that I couldn’t date him.  That was the last time I talked to him.

A couple of months after that night I went to his house to bring over some things of his that I had and I was met at the door by a lady who informed me that she had just taken over the lease and that he had moved out less than a week before that.

Well, last night I talked to him for the first time since we stopped being friends. It was really nice because we talked things through and I got the closure I needed to feel good about the way we were leaving things. He has a girlfriend that he is living with in a city a couple hours from here and he is clean ( ! 🙂 ) and I am happiest being single right now. Now the Kevin book is closed.

I am the type of person that needs closure to be okay about the way something ends (unless I am the one that ended it of course) and if I don’t get that closure it will bug me for years. For instance, when Stud ended things with me it bothered me because it was so quick and so final.  Then we started talking again and now I am fine. We talked about the breakup, I got my closure and we are good friends, it’s perfect.

I realize that this post was relatively serious and not the funny crap you have grown accustomed to reading about my life but you will have to suck it up and deal with it today 😉

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