So last night I was out for S’s birthday and we were at a bar. S was sitting down and texting (don’t get me started on that) and I was at the bar getting another beer. This (really cute) guy comes up to me, introduces me to the bartender whom he is friends with and buys me a vodka bomb. I don’t do vodka bombs, ever. I gently tell him that and he starts talking about how just half an hour before that he had swallowed a live goldfish (poor man’s sushi?) and how if he can do that surely I can do a vodka bomb. I shook my head no and gave him my best smile. It was then that he leans forward and kisses me right on the lips with his goldfish mouth.

Oh wait, it gets better.

Fast forward 15 minutes and i’m out on the dance floor dancing with S and Goldfish Lips comes up to me and asks me to dance with him. I reluctantly agree and start dancing with him. While dancing with him I start to feel like I have a crush on him (blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol) and am wondering why he seems like a completely different person. That is when Goldfish Lips comes out of nowhere and asks if he can steal me away, it turns out that I had been dancing with his twin brother for the last 20 minutes!

I ended up telling the real Goldfish Lips no and continued to dance with his sexier, more polite and bubblier twin.


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